There are a lot of things I know now that I wish I had a heads up about them a few years ago, it may not necessarily have changed the decisions I would have made but at least, I would know what I was getting myself into and I would have been adequately prepared to face the challenges that would arise from making that decision in the years to come!
I was nothing but a kid when I made the decision that I was gonna stay celibate till I was married! That’s one big decision I made in my life that I had ABSOLUTELY no idea what I was getting myself into. I probably knew the journey was gonna be tough but I didn’t know it was gonna be this TOUGH and I also did not know it was gonna be ROUGH! My Goodness! This Celibacy Journey has been one heck of a crazy ass journey and trust me when I tell you that I have been through it all.
Walahi, ko easy rara! Phew! As if the battle with my flesh and Konji is not bad enough, hehe! As in… Y’all don’t know the half of it. When I went public with the news of my decision to stay chaste and even published articles on my blog encouraging young people like myself that it was possible to stay chaste in this crazy world that we live in, most peeps thought I was having it easy! LOL! If I tell you that I didn’t have nights when Konji wan finish my life, walahi don’t take my word for it because I’m legit lying to you!
A question a lot of people ask me, “how do it”? And a lot of times, I try
to give these people answers especially from the Bible but the truth is that so far so good, it’s only been by His grace that I’ve been able to stay strong I am still standing!
The truth is that I have NOT stayed strong at all! Lol. The truth is the VIRGINITY SERIES wasn’t supposed to stop at Season 2, there was a Season 3 that I had planned out, drafted posts, contacted our guest bloggers and a few of them already sent in their entries but I just abandoned the whole thing because I felt so UNWORTHY!
I may not have been having sex, but there were a lot of things that were happening in my life at the time that just made me feel like ” Gosh, I’m not in a position to be talking to anybody about Chastity right now jare”, so I just let it go! Like what kind of chastity preacher dates and lives with a guy whose faith was in question?
Ha! I wasn’t joking when I said I had it TOUGH and also ROUGH! Like how did I get stranded to the point where I had no roof over my head and had to live with a man and even date him? DO YOU EVEN HAVE AN IDEA HOW HARD IT IS TO SAY NO TO A MAN THAT SHELTERS AND FEEDS YOU WHEN HE ASKS YOU FOR SEX? Till date, I don’t know how I came out of that young man’s house with my Virginity and my Pride intact! See ehn., God stood by me because he knows that my motive for wanting to stay chaste was that He may be Glorified and Not for me to receive any prize. Lol. Nobody gets a prize for waiting sef.
Tori neva end o! I came out of the house intact and here I was glorifying the Lord that the battle was over, SMH! Little did I know that the battle had just begun. The devil was serious about my matter, he didn’t let go easily, oh no he did not! He sent a BOZO my way, who I met in the house of the Lord while serving the Lord faithfully, Hallelujah somebody!
(I don’t know who needs to hear this, but the fact that you meet a person in church, doesn’t mean they’ll be good, take my word for it when I tell ya, the Devil also goes to church, so stay Watching, Stay Praying, Stay Discerning and Stay Yielding to the Holy Sprit! #Selah!)
And so BOZO came my way and I was busy thinking he was a godly man considering he also “serves in the same house of the Lord” so I let him into my life and before I actually knew what’s up, Dude was Legit trying to have his way with me and it was almost a Do or Die Affair! Imagine someone trying to force their way with you in your own house! The Nerve and the Effrontery! But these and many more are some of the things I have to deal with but still God remains Faithful!🙌
The decision to go public with the gist about my celibacy did not come without it’s own drama. They were people who felt I had Motives for doing so, how I so wish you know that I would never intentionally put myself in such a vulnerable position, like God, people really thought I was doing it for the accolades and the attention of the men! Are you guys even for reals? God knows the last thing I need in my life is men’s attention, I get that in excess doses largely as a result of my ass that is growing at a geometric progression!😭😭
O ti Su Mi!🙄 Sometimes, I’m just tired really, but I draw strength from him and from his word!
Another frustrating thing is that the ones you think or expect to be standing with you or even standing by you in Tough times are even the ones that’d laugh and judge you when they see you slipping just because they have fallen, like what right do you have to still be standing?
But I learnt from my mentor Eziaha Bolaji-Olojo that… “you have to Stand for what you believe in, even if it means you standing alone!”
I would just share a few of the lessons I have learned in this journey, I hope it blesses someone out there whose trying to stand strong in the journey of chastity or any other life’s journey!
1. Your strength will fail you! Let God’s strength be what’s upholding you.
2. People will NOT understand, it’s NOT your duty to make them to. The journey is not about them anyways, so keep it moving!🚶
3. Even if you fall, forgive yourself, stand up, dust yourself and try again! Don’t ever give in to the temptation to give up! Don’t! And please emphasis is on; FORGIVE YOURSELF! you are not perfect.
4. In forgiving yourself, forgive the ones that hurt you too. Let Go and Let God bust still stay woke! Forgive them but do not put yourself in the same position where you can be hurt again! I repeat, Stay Woke!
5. You need to have a strong motive! Your motive would be your motivating factor when everything seems like it no longer makes any sense!
6. God is Faithful! Stay yielded to his leading and guidance, it will all make sense eventually.
7. Be open and totally Honest with your mentors! Trust me, you’d be glad you did. #Selah!
Special shout out to my Pastors and Mentors, Eziaha Bolaji-Olojo, Pastor Femi Lazarus, Pastor Goodluck Opue and of course Pastor Femi Olaleye. I honestly wish I had be more open but still I’m grateful for your kind words of encouragements! God bless you all mightily! And of course, to the friends who stood by me in tying times, Jennifer Egwu, your type is rare and only God can reward you for me, you were going through a lot yourself, but you kept your issues asides to be there for me, my God will settle you, I’m certain of it! Biodun Akinmukomi, you were there through it all… you saw me make stupid mistakes but you never judged me instead you treated me like a sister, you looked after me, took care of me and prayed with me, God bless you! Last but definitely not least…. Daniel Essien, I could write an epistle and it still won’t cut it, at the time you met me, I was wounded and broken but you didn’t leave me the same way, I’m grateful for everything! God bless you!
This post is dedicated to Miss Rukayat Ohunene Saka, I hope it ministered to you as much as it did to me while I was writing it. I wrote this from my heart and I honestly bhope that this post sparks this revival of my blog as I have missed this blog as much as my readers have.
The UniqueBreed is back guys!!💃💃💃